On my very first night sitting with Mother Ayahuasca, I vividly remember seeing the eyes of the spirit of the black panther everywhere I looked. I first noticed it in the stars, then I saw it in nature, in the trees. Then I began to see the eyes looking at me from the altar where the medicine was being kept.
It started with feelings of amazement and awe, but as I felt the presence of the panther get closer and closer I started to feel fear. It was like a big cat lurking in the shadows staring at me . . . I could feel its presence and power and often when I felt it get nearer I would try to distract myself by looking away so as not to encourage this majestic animal to get any closer because who knows what it would do… I had heard many stories of people having encounters with snakes or other animals and sometimes they would experience being consumed by the animal and going through a deeply transformative, and sometimes frightening experience – although it would always end with deep love and understanding. I was a novice to the medicine and didn’t like the idea of entering into the unknown…
With my first experience of Ayahuasca, I did multiple ceremonies back to back and over time I was confronted with a lot of fear: fear of the darkness, fear of being alone, fear of the unknown.
At a certain point with the Panther staring at me from the shadows beneath the altar, I realized how persistent this animal was being with me and I grew tired of being afraid. Realizing it wouldn’t just go away I decided to confront the animal and ask what it wanted…
I leaned forward on all fours, I stared directly into its eyes and slowly felt my body begin to move in a catlike fashion. My mouth would open and I would make noises I don’t think I’ve ever made before… i realized that the panther was within me. In fact it was not just within me, it was a huge part of me, so much so that I felt I was the panther. In this knowing i realized that what I had been afraid of this whole time was myself . . . I was scared of my shadows, I was scared of the darkness, I was scared of the unknown, I was afraid of the power that lays within the darkness. I was ultimately afraid of my own power.
Over time I began to study the Panther: how it moved, how it operates, how its known for being very elegant, how it likes to walk alone, how it’s a leader, how it commands the respect of all the other animals, and especially at night, how it’s able to flow through the jungle in the dark of the night. One could argue that at night the Panther (or Jaguar) rules the jungle.
The more I learnt and understood about this divine animal, the more I understood myself and my nature. I find great strength in being able to go into the darkness and to shine my light there, because this is where the deepest healing and transformation happens.
Ever since then the Panther has been with me on my journey and it brings me great protection, especially when I am in the ceremony space. I often feel it coming from within me and then circling all around me bringing a cosmic sense of protection on both the earthly and spiritual realms.
I have also felt deep connections to some other spirit animals that are also a deep part of me such as the snake and the eagle as well some other exotic smaller birds that love to whistle and express.
The snake, for me, is one that took me by deep surprise. All my life I had an irrational fear of snakes, and rather ironically I now have deep reverence and respect for this deeply powerful spirit animal.
I have a very powerful memory from one of my first ceremonies of feeling completely sober for a period of time whilst deep in an ayahuasca ceremony. I found it very strange that everything seemed normal, my energy was very calm and although I was deep in the middle of a ceremony, I was extremely present and lucid. My friend who was on the bed next to me had left his mattress and there was a crumpled-up blanket on his bed. For some reason my attention was drawn to this blanket and suddenly I noticed two large snake eyes pop out of it…
To my amazement the entire blanket slowly began to take the form of a giant coiled up serpent. I remember it had a white/yellow skin tone and such a large head that was staring right into my soul. As I looked around the room everything seemed completely normal, I didn’t feel drunk at all, yet when I looked to my left there was this giant snake just laying there staring right at me. I tried not to stare directly into its eyes and often I would look away but was careful to keep it in my peripheral vision. This dance of me trying to remain composed and not freaking out at the potential of this snake leaping just a few inches to the right and consuming me in some way continued for some time.. it felt like a good 30-40 minutes. It could have been much shorter or longer, I had no concept of time. But one thing I knew is that this snake had forever imprinted itself into my psyche.
Many ceremonies later, I have never had such a powerful open eyed vision of an animal present in the room with me. Upon further reflection I understand this snake was the representation of the spirit of mother Ayahuasca, and she has been with me ever since as I continue to dedicate my life to the path of being in service and honoring our great plant teachers. She is even tattooed on my chest in the form of an ankh directly above my panther tattoo that is over my solar plexus and below my tattoos of wings that branch over my shoulders.
Over time as I study different modalities like kundalini and tantra, I am learning more and more about our energetic bodies and how our chakras operate and I truly feel the significance of the serpent and how this divine animal is deeply interwoven into the world of spiritual healing and ascension.
This brings me nicely onto my connection to our winged feather friends. All my life since I can remember, I have loved the energy of birds being an air sign myself. I have always been drawn to anything with wings, I find wings deeply beautiful and representative of values like freedom, creativity and courage. I even had several birds and wings tattooed on my body before I even understood anything about scared plant spirits or spirit animals. So it’s as if the birds have always been guiding and protecting me since birth; they are a deep part of my soul. My soul yearns for ascension and the birds, in particular the eagle, represent this for me because they soar so high they truly have a higher awareness and are able to see things below with deep clarity. They bring me protection in the higher realms and are a huge part of my being.
I also deeply resonate with more cute, colourful and expressive birds that like to dance and sing. I love to express myself as authentically as possible and for me birds embody this in every way – no one ever teaches a bird how to sing, it just sings; no one ever teaches a bird how to fly, it just flys. It has such deep faith in its own wings and doesn’t need to rely on any branch or cliffside. It just knows it can fly and does so without any doubt or fear.
As I study the panther, the snake, and our winged friends, I learn more about myself and I truly feel these animals are always within me and always around me. I truly believe in the power of our thoughts because, as expressed in the first rule of hermeticism, the universe is mental. So when we cultivate this deep connection to our spirit guides and spirit animals, and truly feel and believe with every cell in our body that they are guiding and protecting us, then so it shall be and so it is.
I hope this share helps to plant some seed within you, and whether you are experienced in working with master plant spirits and have a connection to your own spirit animals, or if you’re just curious and interested in spirit animals my hope and prayer is that you receive something from my words that will further strengthen your own divine connection to yourself and to your beautiful spirit guides & animals.
Sending you all an abundance of the love and the light of our one infinite creator.
Kash Khan – Spiritual Guide & Mentor
IG: divineharmonicintelligence URL: www.divineharmonicintelligence.com
